Our little family has had a big change this last week with Scott’s shifts. To me, it isn’t too massive and the positives outweigh any negatives and long term it will really benefit us but it has really shook Jenson’s little life boat.
Jenson has adjusted to life with Scott on days, Monday to Friday 8am-6pm. Scott would be home for dinner and bedtime every night and each weekend. On Friday, Scott started his new shift of 2 days, 8am-8pm and 2 nights 8pm-8am with four days off to follow. These four days are invaluable. Like a little holiday at the end of each week. He technically works two days, has a swing day off, works two nights and then we have him back. We see a lot more of him.
It’s the first shift week though and it has just finished but Jenson is mega confused. The slightest change and he hates it. Before I gave birth and in the lead up to having Emeline, he was so anxious about the change, he was so upset about going to school and leaving me, worried what would happen and if I would be okay. He would be unsettled during the night and would be slightly mischievous with his behaviour before leading up to a full on meltdown. This stopped within seconds of Emeline being born and his anxiety disappeared and he felt at home, safe and secure with his new sister.
We are back there though! Jenson has played Scott up the last two evenings before bed, yesterday he tried to push his luck with me too. The last two nights he has also woken up and wanted cuddles, he is feeling insecure and anxious, it’s horrible. He doesn’t understand the changes just yet so is working his way around them. Jenson had my phone yesterday morning and without me realising he was texting Scott voice messages, this is something he does often for me if my hands are full and I need Scott to get something on his way home from work or whilst he it at the shop. His voice messages consisted of:
“Daddy, I miss you. I want you here now. I wish you were here now”
This was over and over again! Scott received 13 of these in the time I was changing Emie’s nappy. When he got home he thanked me (sarcastically, obviously) but I was none the wiser. Listening to them made me so emotional as Scott welled up.
I’m not a great lover of change but this is a great change for our family. Long term we have four days off together. Love that. It also means Scott will have Emeline whilst I work and he can do school runs with Jenson, it works so well. Yes the days are tough and Jenson misses his Daddy so much for those two days but he then has four days off with him. Next year will be so different when he has school five days a week, especially if Scott is working at the weekend but we can cross that bridge when we come to it.
Jenson and Scott are the best of friends. They are such good buddies and Jenson adores him. I am excited for lots of family time over the next few months before I return to work. Jenson will adjust, but we need to be patient with him in the change and remember he is finding it difficult to understand.