It is starting school eve, Jenson is starting primary school tomorrow. I have been prepared for this day coming as it approached and I have been reasonably calm about it. Having spent the last God knows how many months worrying about me returning to work, that is now out the way, so my mind has nothing else to distract itself with.
On Friday, I was on playground duty. A new reception starter came to me crying as she missed her Mummy, my heart broke, I cuddled her and even got her a cheeky packet of raisins. A second child came crying to me because she needed the toilet and didn’t know where they were, a year six pupil took her off. It was then that I realised this is how my boy will be feeling. My heart sank and that anxious tummy feeling appeared.
For weeks, Jenson has been asking “how long”. This week in particular, we have been working in sleeps. The excitement and anticipation as it arrived has been so lovely to see.
Today, has been a big day. We have been talking about Jenson’s “big day” and he knows tomorrow is so special. We chose his uniform and laid it out ready for the morning, we packed his PE bag and book bag, Jenson chose his school dinners and then we made his snack. His school shoes are by the front door along with his box which has his favourite things and things that are all about him, it’s full of tractors, photos of his family, days out, gadgets and Jenson’s best memories.
I have been in the worst mood today, very emotional and worried about him. I’ve tried to explain his day to him the best way I can, knowing exactly about a school day and comparing it to my own school but his reply of:
“I know Mummy, nursery told me.”
That fills me with such confidence, he is ready. He feels ready and he feels safe and in the knowledge that he knows what to do. I am panicking though, what about when he goes for dinner? Will he like it? Will he eat it? Will they cut his dinner? What if he knocks something over? It’s all so little and I know I adore the children at my school help each and every one where possible but Jenson is my baby. What if he can’t find the toilet? What if he just wants a cuddle? What if he is tired? So much is going through my head.
I can’t wait to see his classroom, the new furniture and how it is set up. I want to see his peg and tray label and appreciate the time and effort his class teacher went to during her holidays to make it extra special for my boy. Jenson is a dream child to me, he is my son and I adore him more than life itself. He is also the type of a child a teacher loves, so enthusiastic and keen, cheeky and loving, chatty, thoughtful and hardworking.
I can’t wait to walk with him, hand in hand to his new adventure. He has chosen shorts and a fleece for tomorrow and then school dinners so the excitement of a packed lunch and other uniform on different days is too exciting.
Good luck my gorgeous boy, you are going to smash it.
Reach for the moon little one, even if you miss, you’ll be amongst the stars.