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Lucky Mummy

I know I am a lucky Mummy. I have two wonderful children who are healthy and absolutely gorgeous. So far, they are well behaved and they’ve made my “Mummy dreams” come true! 

But… I know that. I know all that.
I think I take Emeline for granted. I say think because I appreciate every ounce of her and spend all the time I can with her and her beautiful self. 

Emeline is such an easy baby and I take that for granted. Whenever we go anywhere, she just comes along and sits her pushchair. She doesn’t make a fuss and just watches the world go by. Everyone said that the second baby will just fit in and go along with life but I also expected her to be a little more demanding, something she totally isn’t. 

I have blitzed the house this week and she sat on the floor and just played with her toys, dancing to the music on the TV and chatting and shouting at me. She didn’t make a fuss. She just watched and enjoyed looking around, I stopped for feeding and to cuddle her and in those moments, I realised that I wanted to cuddle her more to just enjoy her and her angelic ways. 

On days when we are out for Jenson, like last week at Country File. She spent the whole time in her pram, she notices and talks to the people we pass and chews on her toys. Emeline loves looking around. It got to about 3pm and I realised how much I missed her, she had been there all day but I missed her, I missed her cuddles and playing with her and just being with her. I took her for granted that she just enjoys life happily. I could have worn her in her sling, or had her out for longer playing and feeding but I did what I needed to and put her back in for Jenson’s day out. I totally took her loveliness for granted and I feel sad. I also feel torn, it makes life easy that Jenson can enjoy a day as he is more demanding at the moment and being the summer holidays, he needs to be entertained. 

I do wonder if this is 2nd child syndrome overall really, they all plod along and don’t get that 1:1 care the first child had, I know that happens. It won’t always be like this or this easy, so I’ll enjoy it and squidgy her up as much as I can. No doubt she will be a terror of a toddler or a teenager! 

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We have started weaning…

Scott and I have been so looking forward to starting to wean Emeline, she follows food, shouts and is generally obsessed with whatever we are eating. We presume she will follow the family in being a real foodie.


We had a really successful weaning journey with Jenson too, he is such a good eater and will eat almost everything and I want the same for Emeline. It has always been, within reason, that he eats what we eat, from spaghetti bolognase to Indian take away – he is extremely well cultured food wise. We have also taken him out to lunch a lot, he chooses his dinner and loves this responsibility. 


So far, so good with Emeline. I’ve been using the Ella’s kitchen app and recipe book, although it’s just purées so far so it’s really straight forward. My weaning plan with Jenson worked well and I am trying to remember how we did it, so we are going for this: 

  1. Breakfast – porridge or cereal with baby led fruit.
  2. Lunch – baby led
  3. Dinner – purée for a taste of different foods with some baby led vegetables on the tray. 

We are only doing two meals a day as she is 5 1/2 months. We started with dinner and gradually introduced breakfast and finally we will add lunch. She isn’t overly keen on porridge or breakfast as a whole but loves the baby led part, I wonder if she will opt for that over being fed by us. Around 7 months, we moved totally to baby led and I’ll do the same if Emeline has chosen to do that first. 


It’s been so lovely seeing her try different foods, her favourites are carrots and peas. She definitely doesn’t like broccoli or cauliflower! Everything else she would happily eat but wasn’t over fussed on, butternut squash, parsnip, potatoes, sweet potatoes, and blueberries. Emeline has also been unwell this week so it has been tricky to work out if she was off her food or just didn’t like what we tried, apparently it takes the babies 10 attempts to try something to decide if they like it. 


We are going to start combining vegetables together for different tastes so tonight’s dinner is carrots and parsnip. I make sure I mix all her food with my milk for dose consistency too. I hope it continues to go this well! 

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I love my Mum

There has been many times, throughout my life, where my mum has driven me potty. Most days, she drives me mad at some point and she can be a bit of a fruit loop at times too but she has the biggest heart too and we are very lucky to have her. There is something special about a mother and daughter relationship and I hope I get that with Emeline. My Mum, would do anything to help us and both my children and I think the world of her. 


I remember the first time I saw her after giving birth to Jenson, I was so pleased to ‘see’ her, our relationship changed in that moment. I knew the love she felt, I knew how proud she felt and I felt proud to have given her a grandson. She knew how I felt having my first child, how excited and exhausted in the same breath. I cried and she cried with me. I immediately understood her reasons, her worry, her love, her battles and her feelings towards me and my sister. As the years have gone by, I have understood her neurotic crazy moments when you totally lose your shit over the smallest thing but in actual fact, it’s a build up of events, or a stress you parent moment you’re protecting little people from that bubbles over. I know how she feels and my respect for her has changed so much since having my own children as well as my love and my patience. On top of that, I am so grateful for her, her endless love and support and sometimes, advice. Often, I don’t want it! 


Whenever we need anything, she will almost always come running, unless the sewing bee is on. No joke. My children idolise her, they have a truly wonderful relationship and I am so reassured that they have such trust in her and adore her as much as she does them. My parents taught me some wonderful lessons, they were always fair, although at the time, it felt like they weren’t. My sister and I were brought up well and have good morals, something I want Jenson and Emeline to have, I want their parenting to filter through mine, although of course I want it to be different and do it my own way with my own style too, it’s a learning journey and one I want to discover but I learnt so many skills from them. Sometimes, it amazes me that my sister and I survived with some things my Mum and Dad say and do… There is a huge generation gap between parenting and grandparenting!

 
I don’t think I say thank you enough, I always say it as I have good manners but I don’t spontaneously thank her. I used to take her for dinner but maternity leave and busy lives has put a stop to that recently. I want her to know I am grateful for what she does for us. 

Today, both children are unwell, and like before, she came over to help with my sanity. Mum went to Lidl to collect bread rolls for Jenson’s soup and biscuits as requested by Jenson in a lovely, long voice message. She then San and cuddled him, then Emeline, then played, then watched a film before leaving for her Sainsburys food shop. We had a nice time chatting and sympathising with Jenson and Emeline and it was such a nice afternoon. 

So, Mum, thank you. For everything over the past 28+ years. More specifically, the recent 4+ where you have shown your value as a Mum as well as a Nana. 

Love you. 

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Going alone 

Today is my first 8am-8pm day, pretty much a single parent for the day. Scott returned to shift work today, long term this is perfect for us and I just need to adjust our routine slightly. It was relatively easy with Jenson but now there is two of them and Jenson needs dinner and bedtime and his routine. 

 
Scott works four days on, four days off, those four days can be dreams or nightmares depending on the 4 year old! I use to love it just being us and him being the centre of attention but now he has to share his time with Emie, it could go either way! 

Today was okay! We had our usual day, easy. I had a nice breakfast with Jenson whilst Emeline slept, lunch and playing. Dinner was prepared and ready to eat at 5, much better at that time than waiting until 6 when Scott would usually get in. Just as I was about to dish up Emeline started to really scream, this is so unlike her and I was quite concerned. I tried to feed her, she wasn’t interested, I took her clothes off and she was still going mad. She was crying so much she was choking and being sick which scared me. I walked her around and she eventually calmed down. Jenson had finished his dinner and mine was cold. I had started to run a bath for Emie as it always helps her chill out and she is so happy, as expected she was delighted by her bath and was happy kicking around. Once she was out, I massaged her then dressed her in pjs and Jenson got out the bath and ready for bed. I ate my dinner whilst Emeline played on her mat and Jenson ate his pudding. I felt like I had accomplished something! I also managed to get the washing in, washing up done and make Scott’s lunch for tomorrow!  

Chicken in honey, soy sauce and garlic with veggies, buttered leek, spinach and asparagus and sweet potato mash.

My next hurdle was bedtime, Emie looked so tired! I got Jenson to go to the toilet and brush his teeth, he had a story in his bed with me and Emie and then I tucked him in. Emeline has had her night and that’s them both asleep by 7.15pm! A great achievement on my own, especially managing to fit all my jobs in too! 

 

I know some amazing parents do this alone all day every day and I am in awe of them. It was a big deal for me, another tick on adjusting to life as a parent of two. 

Next on the list to conquer are the night shifts, dreading it! 

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I love labor 

I absolutely loved labor with Jenson, I was so excited to do it again with Emie, I didn’t feel anxious or stressed at all in the lead up and couldn’t wait to do it again, I put a lot of pressure on myself in hindsight for it to be smooth and for my labor to be like Jenson’s when each and every one is different. We hired a pool for a homebirth and it was everything I wanted. Infact, I wanted photos taken during my labor in the lead up but being caught in the moment meant we didn’t get any and I am disappointed. There are some beautiful ones just as Emeline was born and my heart skips a beat when I see them, they are for our eyes only although I’ve shown them off to our special people. 

  

 Emeline is 3 months today and also 13 weeks. 13 weeks ago we met her for the first time. I delivered her in our home and that first day was magical, she met Jenson and we became four.  I wish I could bottle those feelings and emotions.

 

I enjoyed my labor so much, I loved being in our home. Everything went so well, I have the fondest memory. It was relatively quick albeit an intense birth and it was perfect. I want to do it again and again and if it was possible, I probably would.  

The huge pool

 

I miss labor, I miss her birth so much. It seems so long ago and seemed to happen so quickly that I actually miss it, already I am ready to do it again but I am not ready for that next baby yet! No way! I love those early newborn stages, the hazy memories in the tiredness, getting to know each sound they make and that crumpled up cuddle. I love skin to skin and having sleepy newborn cuddles on my chest. Those first two weeks are breathtaking and disappear in a flash.  I want to enjoy Emeline and spend time with her and Jenson together and separately and if we do have another, I want to do the same.   

 I want time to stop, it’s just running away with me and I can’t keep up. It seems to be going so much quicker with Emeline than Jenson and I feel like I’m taking my time with her for granted, I’m not, I just have Jenson to look after this time and other jobs to do that mean my job as a mummy comes as being a parent to two children rather than devoting everything to just one. I use to sit and cuddle Jenson for hours but this time I have Jenson to look after and housework to do around both Jenson and Emie. That will be why our house is such a mess as I sit and cuddle our gorgeous girl!

For now, I have the most amazing memories of my labors and the snuggles with both my baby’s. Who knows if we will do it again? 

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Family days out!

I absolutely love a family day out! No matter where it is, we spent a fortune and went to Disneyland, which was amazing but also Center Parcs or cheap and cheerful days at Clacton, Mersea or Colchester Zoo. It really doesn’t matter. I just love being with Scott and our children!

Emeline’s first trip to the zoo

We’ve always made a big deal of days out and we have always done lots of things together, Jenson is certainly well cultured in the day out variety! He has been so lucky, the places we have visited are just wonderful:

  • London Aquarium
  • London Zoo
  • Colchester Zoo
  • Marsh Farm
  • Tropical Wings
  • Paradise Wildlife Park 
  • Legoland
  • Peppa Pig World
  • CBeebies Land
  • Woburn Safari Park 
  • Wimpole Home Farm
  • Hatfield Forest
  • Colne Valley Railway
  • Southend Sealife Centre
  • East Mersea
  • Clacton
  • National History Museum
  • National Science Museum
  • Disneyland Paris
  • Diggerland 

The list is endless and each birthday we have a special birthday day out too, for his 1st we went to the London Aquarium, 2nd we went to London Zoo and his third was Cbeebies Land. In a few weeks we are going to Kidzania to celebrate his 4th.

Birthday Day Outs 

We are so lucky location wise, we are close to the seafront, London and we also have lots of lovely farms and zoos around. Colchester Zoo is our local and it is wonderful, they’re constantly improving it and investing money, makes it so worthwhile. Jenson loves it too, we have a gold pass so we can visit as much as we like for a year. Jenson’s memory is really incredible and we take the camera and video camera for special days out to remember, he often talks about places we have visited and things we have done.b

Today, we visited Colchester Zoo, the animals were quite active. Jenson fed a giraffe and we saw the Tigers walking around. We had a lovely lunch there too which was also nice but had to eat outside which was cold for Emeline. Sadly, the train station burnt down end of last year but things are already in development for a replacement, telling Jenson was traumatic. The weather was slightly chilly today but bright and sunny, Emeline came out of the pram for a bit to look at some of the animals. It was our first real day out since having Emeline and it was very calm and lovely. I fed her in the restaurants, albeit one was outside and she was changed in their changing rooms – the one by the Sunbears is nice and clean. Definitely recommend Colchester Zoo to everyone for a fun day out!