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A whirlwind weekend

We have had a pretty crappy weekend, it started on Friday when Emeline didn’t eat any dinner and went down hill from there. 

I was woken by Emeline in the night by tears, it frightened me as it’s an unfamiliar sound for her anyway but as I picked her up, she was so hot to touch. I didn’t even need a thermometer to check she had a temperature, I checked though and she was 38. I went straight for Nurofen as she was clearly unwell. After our usual battle with medicine and Emeline, she settled back down but continued to wake and her temperature continued to spike. Throughout the day, I gave her paracetamol and ibuprofen and put it down to teething.

Scott woke up around 3ish as he had been on nights, even with her high doses of pain killers, she reached 40.1. We spoke to 111, NHS direct, an amazing resource that is worth it’s weight in gold. They advised us to get us to A&E within the next 1/2 hours to an hour. Immediately, we organised Jenson some childcare and packed Emeline up. 

We arrived and checked her in to A&E, having her notes from the call meant she was immediately seen in triage for her stats to be checked in the children’s area. Within the hour, she had had more medication to ease her temperature and a doctor, with no visible evidence of what was going on, we were admitted to the children’s ward, Phoenix Ward for further tests and observation. I felt myself panic for the first time, unsure of what this meant. Emeline’s high dose of pain killers meant her temperature began to drop and that she started showing her beautiful smile. 

Loving life after painkillers at Broomfield

A doctor examined Emeline’s ears and throat immediately and noticed some pus on her tonsils. My poor baby. I know the ridiculous pain that does with tonsillitis and my poor baby had it. We had Emeline on a bed and encouraged her to sleep, it was late at night and she was exhausted as it was. Emeline could not relax at all. She was given a dose of antibiotics and that was a barrel of laughs! She did not enjoy that at all! The doctor came back later to take swabs of her pus – hideous experience. 

It’s funny how Scott and I immediately fall in to our roles in these situations, Scott is always the one to hold the baby down as such. I am so soft and too squeamish to do that myself. I am so grateful he takes this role, he is the calm cucumber who listens whereas I immediately panic and worry. He rationalises and listens and waits. 

The ‘fear face’ when a doctor approached

Each time a doctor came near Emeline, she began to panic. The poking and proding had taken its toll and became too much and she cried whenever they came near. That said, and realising it was tonsillitis we were armed with antibiotics and a care plan and sent home. We were able to go back if we weren’t happen or if things weren’t as we are expected. We arrived home, went upstairs and I got changed for bed ready to feed Emeline and Scott started to change her, then he said: 

Call an ambulance, she can’t breath”

 I panicked as I heard those words and rushed to see them. Emeline was white, blue around the mouth and blotchy faced. It looked like an allergic reaction but she couldn’t catch her breath. I dialed 999 and gave all the information, the ambulance was here within minutes, there was no wait at all. The response was fantastic. Emeline then threw up a load of green pus that had gathered at the back of her throat and cleared and she caught her breath before the ambulance arrived, they were obviously concerned for her seeing the state she was in. They took observations again although they struggled to monitor her breathing as she was in such a state. Her blood sugars were incredibly low but her temperature was normal. They observed her for a while and Scott was sent off to get some non sugar free calpol. Once her sugars were up and she was calmer, they were happy to leave us home on the conditions we monitored her temperature and checked her throughout the night, using our sensor mat and baby monitor. They stayed with us until we were all completely happy. The most amazing service. 

Yesterday, we recovered. Constant doses of medicine and very little sleep. Jenson spent the day with my parents but came home and was delighted to see his little sister. 

We had a rough night again last night but a much better day today. She has been up and down and continued to sleep a lot but has finally had some solid food. She has fed constantly though so my boobs have been fully abused. I am so grateful she is alright, she terrified me Saturday night and I’ll take sore boobs over that a million times over. 

Jenson has been amazing today, we had planned at day to Bewilderwood before he started school and had tickets booked. I rang this morning and they’ve said we can change the booking. Jenson had the option to go with Daddy alone but he preferred to stay home to look after Emeline today and said that we can go as a family. He is so thoughtful and selfless. He didn’t care about his day at all and I am so proud of those qualities in him. 

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Lucky Mummy

I know I am a lucky Mummy. I have two wonderful children who are healthy and absolutely gorgeous. So far, they are well behaved and they’ve made my “Mummy dreams” come true! 

But… I know that. I know all that.
I think I take Emeline for granted. I say think because I appreciate every ounce of her and spend all the time I can with her and her beautiful self. 

Emeline is such an easy baby and I take that for granted. Whenever we go anywhere, she just comes along and sits her pushchair. She doesn’t make a fuss and just watches the world go by. Everyone said that the second baby will just fit in and go along with life but I also expected her to be a little more demanding, something she totally isn’t. 

I have blitzed the house this week and she sat on the floor and just played with her toys, dancing to the music on the TV and chatting and shouting at me. She didn’t make a fuss. She just watched and enjoyed looking around, I stopped for feeding and to cuddle her and in those moments, I realised that I wanted to cuddle her more to just enjoy her and her angelic ways. 

On days when we are out for Jenson, like last week at Country File. She spent the whole time in her pram, she notices and talks to the people we pass and chews on her toys. Emeline loves looking around. It got to about 3pm and I realised how much I missed her, she had been there all day but I missed her, I missed her cuddles and playing with her and just being with her. I took her for granted that she just enjoys life happily. I could have worn her in her sling, or had her out for longer playing and feeding but I did what I needed to and put her back in for Jenson’s day out. I totally took her loveliness for granted and I feel sad. I also feel torn, it makes life easy that Jenson can enjoy a day as he is more demanding at the moment and being the summer holidays, he needs to be entertained. 

I do wonder if this is 2nd child syndrome overall really, they all plod along and don’t get that 1:1 care the first child had, I know that happens. It won’t always be like this or this easy, so I’ll enjoy it and squidgy her up as much as I can. No doubt she will be a terror of a toddler or a teenager! 

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12th August 

This post is sickening and full of love. Be warned!

12th August is our wedding anniversary. This year, 2016, we celebrate 6 years of marriage. Mostly marital bliss! In the last 6 years, our marriage and relationship has gone from strength to strength. We were just Mr and Mrs Childs, the two of us, for 18 months before we became a team of three and then last December there was four of us! 

I am always really excited for our anniversary, we never buy huge gifts, in fact, I don’t get Scott anything but he always buys me something special to represent the tradition, paper, wood etc. I am interested as to what my gift is this year. For some reason, I just really look forward to celebrating our anniversary. I look forward to it and get excited about it. We talk about the day and what we did at what time, what we ate, who we saw and what we enjoyed. I love sharing the memories and even the photos with Jenson now too. The yearly reflection on the wedding DVD comes out too and catching up on the photos albums! The standard wedding traditions. 

We have been good at celebrating our anniversary:

  • 1st Year – we went to London for three days and saw The Lion King.
  • 2nd Year  – we went to Mersea and had a picnic in a special picnic basket, we had a take away. Jenson was 6 months old.
  • 3rd year – We went to Windsor for a few days and went to Legoland.
  • 4th year – we had a dinner out, but we went to Disney on the 16th!
  • 5th year – we went shopping for Emeline’s Nursery last year and had dinner out.

It is hard with young children but it is the only time that actually, I really want us to be a family. Our marriage was the start of our family and our adventure and I think we should celebrate together. This year, we are going to the beach. The weather is meant to be lovely and we will have warm doughnuts, fish and chips, ice cream and fresh seafood. Every year we go and make a real day of it, we always have a lovely time and that’s how I want to spend it tomorrow, the four of us. 

So, to my Gorgeous Husband, 
Happy 6th Wedding anniversary. Thank you for another wonderful year full of laughter, tears, happiness, anger, frustration and love. We are the best team around, the A team, and I love being part of a team with you. We have two, truly wonderful children who have changed our lives for, mostly, the better. I love the husband and father you are. I love the life and family we have and the memories we make.

Thank you for working so hard for us as a family and giving me the family I always wanted. You’ve made my dreams a reality in the best possible way and there is no one else who I would wish to share these dreams with or my love with.

Love you always, xxx

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Just call me The Godmother

Today, I was truly privileged and I became a Godparent. This is pretty spectacular. In my opinion, obviously it is, but I am feeling very honoured. 

In our Sunday best!

Choosing Jenson and Emeline’s Godparents was easy. We knew it had to be people we loved and trusted and who we knew my children could look up and that their Godparents would protect them and love them regardless. For me, I now fit in to that box. Someone loves me and trust me enough to have the role of Godparent for their child. This may not necessarily be the case but I made the cut.

The role of Godparent was made even more special by the fact it was my best friend’s son and that Mr T is my first Godson. Naturally, I am already trying to make the world a better place for my children and new Godchild ;). Mr T’s Mummy is both Jenson and Emeline’s Godmummy too so I now feel they are God cousins. I do love my over excited brain!

I also shared the role today with my brother in law (my sister’s husband). It was down to Dan and I that Abbi and Si are together after numerous attempts to set them up! They finally got together and eventually realised that Dan and I were always right! Now look at them. Pats self on back!

The day was really lovely. A lovely service held at Bocking Church. Our Father Rod is hilarious! We then went on for a little party at a local football club and had the most delicious miniature versions of food and the most amount of cake. Food heaven. Abbi’s Mum is one of the best bakers around and makes delicious cakes, thankfully her talents have filled out to her daughters and there was brownies, flapjack, lemon drizzle and numerous other beautiful combinations. Scott is currently in a cake coma on the sofa! 

Another benefit is that apparently my sins are repented! So I have this wonderful clean slate of goodness! Not that I haven’t ever been but that’s beside the point. Quite possibly yesterday, I should have let my hair done and gone a little crazy for today’s ceremony! 

So now I am all clean and wonderfully good and some kind of Saint, I am on cloud 9 with my new role as Godmother and I want to prove I’ll be a good one! Listening to Father Rod’s sermon earlier was about someone always working the hardest and another person taking a back seat, so I decided to act on my new role and put the washing away. I also collected the rubbish earlier and handed out plates of crisps. Whoop!

First act (not bad for the first day) as responsible Godparent. Complete

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Going back to work

The end of my maternity leave is looming. I would love to be able to work less and stay at home more but I need to earn and when I am working, I love my job. I have lots of room for career progression and I really want to progress too but I am and always will be a Mummy first.

I am working part time when I return. Sharing my time between my role as class teacher and SENCo. There is no way I want to be out of the classroom as I do not wantwant to lose those ever important skills that I spent years studying for and years collecting through different experiences. Working part time as a teacher is hard. Sharing your classroom is like sharing your bedroom, whilst this is great to share with your partner, it does not always work as sucessfully when it is a stranger, although sometimes it isn’t great to share with your partner either!!! I take a lot of pride in my classroom and everyone has different ideas of how they want their room to look. I finally know where I will be next year and who I will be working with but that doesn’t make the transition any easier, full time teaching is hard to let go of.

I am moving from year 2 to year 5 which I am excited about. Nervous but excited. It’s a big curriculum move but I can’t wait to see what we can ‘do’ together. The children have had a poorly teacher this year so have had a lot of inconsistency so I was really honoured that my head put me there to get them up to speed. At least she has faith in me! I have my new curriculum plan and we have some very exciting topics, it is adjusting to the new learning that is a bit scary. My job share is lovely too, so enthusiastic and just a lovely person. We work well together and she is a hard worker, we believe a lot of the same things so that is exciting. I am looking forward to meeting with her for planning over tea, cake and lunch in the summer!

Some bedtime reading!

I am spending the last few weeks spoiling my children with my time. Jenson has a big few weeks up with school tasters and leaving preschool.  A lot of emotional instability here!! Emeline is finally drinking milk from a beaker, Scott had her whilst I did a KIT day and she has been playing me. She had her Daddy wrapped around her finger and her daily routine went flying out the window!!

I will be in for three days for the last week of term. Thankfully the last day is INSET too. Scott is off so will have the children and I am going to pump milk throughout the day for Emeline. I love that my Medela pump comes with both electric and battery powered sources so I can do that. I just need a little fridge to keep in my office to store my milk!! Don’t want that slipping in to someone’s tea by accident.

I also need to think about losing my Mummy identity which I am not ready for yet:

  • Lunch – my own lunch box and a reasonable portion to eat myself.
  • A proper bra!
  • My own handbag
  • Actually remembering my work stuff!
  • Nice clothes that are not covered in sick, food or snot.
  • Alarm – no lazy mornings here!
  • How to act around adults! (And children being a teacher!!)

Just two weeks left, but it is just a few days and then I have the summer off. It could always be worse! Please go slow!

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Nothing stronger than a sibling bond!

I have adored watching Jenson and Emeline’s relationship develop over the last year, although she is 5 months, the moment he had his own scan picture next to his bed was when he fell in love with her.

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He wished and wanted for a little sister and he was convinved the baby was a girl, we began to question if we should find out incase he had a brother but we decided to keep it a surprise as he would be smitten regardless! Isn’t that the truth!

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I love my Mum

There has been many times, throughout my life, where my mum has driven me potty. Most days, she drives me mad at some point and she can be a bit of a fruit loop at times too but she has the biggest heart too and we are very lucky to have her. There is something special about a mother and daughter relationship and I hope I get that with Emeline. My Mum, would do anything to help us and both my children and I think the world of her. 


I remember the first time I saw her after giving birth to Jenson, I was so pleased to ‘see’ her, our relationship changed in that moment. I knew the love she felt, I knew how proud she felt and I felt proud to have given her a grandson. She knew how I felt having my first child, how excited and exhausted in the same breath. I cried and she cried with me. I immediately understood her reasons, her worry, her love, her battles and her feelings towards me and my sister. As the years have gone by, I have understood her neurotic crazy moments when you totally lose your shit over the smallest thing but in actual fact, it’s a build up of events, or a stress you parent moment you’re protecting little people from that bubbles over. I know how she feels and my respect for her has changed so much since having my own children as well as my love and my patience. On top of that, I am so grateful for her, her endless love and support and sometimes, advice. Often, I don’t want it! 


Whenever we need anything, she will almost always come running, unless the sewing bee is on. No joke. My children idolise her, they have a truly wonderful relationship and I am so reassured that they have such trust in her and adore her as much as she does them. My parents taught me some wonderful lessons, they were always fair, although at the time, it felt like they weren’t. My sister and I were brought up well and have good morals, something I want Jenson and Emeline to have, I want their parenting to filter through mine, although of course I want it to be different and do it my own way with my own style too, it’s a learning journey and one I want to discover but I learnt so many skills from them. Sometimes, it amazes me that my sister and I survived with some things my Mum and Dad say and do… There is a huge generation gap between parenting and grandparenting!

 
I don’t think I say thank you enough, I always say it as I have good manners but I don’t spontaneously thank her. I used to take her for dinner but maternity leave and busy lives has put a stop to that recently. I want her to know I am grateful for what she does for us. 

Today, both children are unwell, and like before, she came over to help with my sanity. Mum went to Lidl to collect bread rolls for Jenson’s soup and biscuits as requested by Jenson in a lovely, long voice message. She then San and cuddled him, then Emeline, then played, then watched a film before leaving for her Sainsburys food shop. We had a nice time chatting and sympathising with Jenson and Emeline and it was such a nice afternoon. 

So, Mum, thank you. For everything over the past 28+ years. More specifically, the recent 4+ where you have shown your value as a Mum as well as a Nana. 

Love you.