The claws are out!

We had the nicest family day at a Marsh Farm last week. I went on my own with both children and it was a ridiculously warm day. 

We had a fantastic day, we fed animals, played on the park and had a tractor ride. The parks are huge and so much space for running around, in fact, the staff are also incredible and make the day even better for your family. So child orientated and animated. Each and every time we have been, they’ve entertained us no end. There is just so much to do, endless fun.

The fun had to come to an halt whilst I fed Emeline, as it was so hot, I took Jenson in to soft play and say where I could see him. Feeding Emeline, I sat and watched him like a hawk. At 4 years old, this is the first time he has ever been in to soft play alone. Protective Mummy has always sent Mummy in with him and today proved why. 

Whilst I sat their watching Jenson, I noticed his smile as he ran around bouncing and jumping, up and down different parts and sliding down slides. Then he stopped. He didn’t go down a slide, and instead it looked like he fell backwards, the prickles of my neck were up. At that point, he came running to me, sobbing with tears streaming down his face, a picture that I never see and cried out 

“Mummy, a boy is fighting me” 

My heart shattered and I was immediately up on my feet, Emeline in shock that her feed was cut short and outraged that I had started to put my boob away and finalise her feeding. I immediately went to find the child and the parent, as we approached them, another parent was already discussing the kids aggressive and violent behaviour. Not only had he punched Jenson in the stomach and face, he also hit two other little girls. 

The bit that bothered me the most was the mothers inabability to recognise her child was in the wrong, there was no way of her child apologising or for her to make him. His behaviour was not okay and it wasn’t picked up on nor was he provided with a consequence for his actions. His mum palmed it off as childish behaviour. No thanks. Sort your kid out. I found myself becoming more and more angry at the mother and how poorly she dealt with it, making it seem to Jenson that the actions of the little boy were okay when they were absolutely not okay.

I understand that not everyone parents the same, I just felt such injustice for Jenson. It is my job to protect him and I struggled so much to deal with the fact that I didn’t, I was so upset that I was feeding Emeline so I therefore wasn’t there for Jenson and someone else hurt him. I then couldn’t do anything to help him by showing him that what the little boy did was wrong. Jenson knows right from wrong and I am so proud to have taught him that and that he didn’t retaliate. Naturally, I told him that Santa won’t be sending him anything so thay reassured him slightly! 

To make it slightly better, I made sure we were able to stay a little longer and do some more activities. I let him choose where we were going for dinner and generally spoil him. For now, I am proud of my wonderful child and I am winning at parenting with his behaviour and manners.

Karma will get that kid… more fool him! 

Emeline’s Christening

On Sunday, we celebrated our beautiful daughter and her Christening. Emeline was christened at the church Scott and I got married in, and the church that Jenson was also christened in. It holds very fond memories for me. 

I was so excited for this day, having my children christened is important to me. I want them to belong to a community and have comfort and safety in a faith, similar to what I do. Scott is atheist but understands why it is important and supports that for our children. We are always well looked after and we have been very lucky in life, I feel that someone is out their looking out for me and my family and protecting us, I want that for my children.  

Religion can sometimes really confuse me, when bad things happen. That isn’t fair and never seems it, but I guess that’s also the circle of life. I also feel safe and secure that there are reasons and answers to some things too, it’s a mind field. I should and could probably invest more time and understanding in it but I know what I need to and I am happy with that. 

Jenson talks about God and I answer the best way I can. He will attend a Church of England school in September and I am sure that will be give him his own understanding. 

We had an amazing day on Sunday, surrounded by our closest family and friends. We were not traditional and like Jenson, Emeline had 5 wonderful Godparents. Our children did us so proud, they also had a lovely day celebrating and behaved beautifully. I was a very proud Mummy, wife and friend. 

Little fish

As I grew up, I loved swimming. I use to go with my Nanny and Grandad, they swam a lot and my Dad was a swimming teacher before he joined the police force. I swam early and we went almost every weekend. I am a strong swimmer and I really enjoy it, I would love the same for my children and this has already rubbed off on Jenson!  Jenson started swimming lessons really early with our local council, we both really enjoyed them. We moved at one point to a private gym that was local and were so disappointed with them, the leaders didn’t care about the classes and it was mostly just a bit crap. We went back to the local council pool and lessons and then Jenson had a break for a whilst I returned to work full time and Scott started to work Monday to Friday, so there was no one to take him. 

I enquired about swimming last December, knowing that Jenson would be four and would therefore be able to go swimming ‘alone’. His sessions were parent and toddler before but I wouldn’t have been able to get in there with him and leave our ‘new’ baby on the side. As soon as he hit four, he started them again which is good as during our Center Parcs break, Scott taught him the basic doggy paddle. 

  
Every Saturday Jenson goes swimming now, his lesson is at 9 so we have the rest of the day to do what we like thankfully rather than waiting around. I have seen so much progress since his first lesson. He can swim on his back so well although he needs to remember to keep his head up rather than watching his feet – he wants to make sure he is doing his feet properly. He can ‘scoop’ well too and can go some length on the front but needs to remember to breath! It’s all so much for a little person but I am super proud of him.  

 I love his confidence in the water, out of everything that is the most important to me. I take children swimming with work who are terrified of the water as they don’t swim often, they don’t have lessons or that experience. Our local pool does free swimming for children so you only pay for the adult, to me, that doesn’t make sense. You should pay a smaller price for the child and the adult should go free with them as it is essential they have parent support. It makes even less sense that Jenson gets ‘free swimming’ with his membership, considering he is free anyway, how will he benefit from that?!

I am sure the highlight of the lessons is being able to shower! I am having to ration the shower gel as he gets as far away as possible so I can’t nan the bottle off him, we were going through loads! Within seconds of leaving the pool he asks for a cup of tea but Grandad Mark took him last week and now he requests a milkshake at the diner opposite! Can’t afford these treats and habits every weekend… Grandparents!  

 

A lazy Easter holidays

This Easter holiday has been very different to our usual one, it’s usually a holiday for me too and time to spend with Jenson. I cram it full of day out, trips away and Scott takes time off to spend with us too. As I am on maternity leave, I have just let Jenson have a rest. As much as Jenson loves a day out, we also love lazy days at home playing. Jenson has a wonderful imagination and loves to play, he is so good at playing alone too but I’ll always join in when I can. He loves small world and roleplay and I spend a lot of my day setting out small world scenarios.  

Jenson thinking I am special because I take him out!

Jenson only goes to preschool for three hours a day and usually has Friday’s off but as of next term, he will be going five days to prepare for school next year. I tend to keep the Friday for a day with me and Emie or a trip out but now Scott is back on shifts we will have a lot more time as a family. 

Both Emeline and I have been unwell this Easter which has limited our days out but Jenson has minded. He really wants to go to the zoo but we can do that anytime as we have a gold card. We managed breakfast with the Easter Bunny on Monday and Jenson had a trip to baby sensory with Emeline but that has been it for family days out other than lots of walks down the Flitch! Jenson went to cricket school on Thursday for a while and had a brilliant time.  

Cricket School

Pirate Week at Baby Sensory

  

Scooter Ride

  

Baby sensory

 
Hopefully, we will all perk up towards the end of the week and we can make it to the zoo. I know that term time days out are a novelty being a teacher and as he is at preschool I don’t need to rush out and fight the clouds. That’s a nice feeling! 

Easy eating out

I love eating out, we are such foodies. Normal restaurants though, we don’t go too posh as the portions are too small, general chain restaurants and a few smaller family run restaurants in our local area are our favourite. We definitely have our favourites. 

Jenson has also developed our love for eating out, he often requests breakfast, lunch or dinner out. His grandparents have a lot to blame too! Jenson is recognised in our local Costa and has his ‘favourite’ drink from his favourite Barista, now that is embarrassing. He has such confidence now that he will order his own food and drink by himself.  

 

We have always found eating out with Jenson really easy, someone told me when I was pregnant with him to eat out early so he gets use to it and we did. We took him with us and let him share our meals when he was weaning, eventually he started to have his own small dishes and now he almost always has a full three course meal! Jenson has had one horrendous meal incident, on his first birthday at Prezzo in Epping when he decided to wear the spaghetti bolognaise on his head and then threw the remaining around his high chair!!! Now, thankfully, we don’t have a problem with him. He is impeccably behaved and he uses all of his manners. I feel so proud of him. 

Jenson has earnt his weekly stars, he gets to choose a treat and he chose a Chinese this week! My four year old wanted to go out for dinner as his treat, we have created a monster! As usual, he sat beautifully eating his starter and mains, he will always eat a selection of foods too, he is well cultured and has good taste buds. 

Now we have to do the same with Emeline to ensure that she is as well behaved at the table! Tonight, she was as good as gold, laying on her mat chatting and gurgling at the lights and her Daddy! We will take her with us, and when she is weaning she can eat our food to try different things. We will have a ‘pub bag’ full of tricks and entertainment just in case of delays or boredom and get her in a high chair, sitting with us as early as possible! Fingers crossed!

 

Screw you British Summer Time!

The clocks changing, in my opinion, has no purpose. It doesn’t make it any sunnier or warmer. We just have darker mornings and lighter evening. This doesn’t bother me at all and I’d happily sacrifice this for just the same time all year around.  

 

Before I had children, I changed the clocks the night before. One year, my Dad also did the same. This meant that I was an hour early, at 5am, to collect my best friend from the airport as she was on her way back from travelling… I was excited but turning up at her parents at that time was ridiculous. 

I now hate the clocks changing along with every other parent. It’s a new routine that we have to adjust our children to unnecessarily. Especially during term time! Thank god this year has fallen in the holidays, a child without that hours sleep is hideous. 

The changing affects feeding routines and bedtime routines and everything. Emeline is fed on demand so that’s okay but having to change that bottle feeding, 4 hour routine to when it suits you is hideous. Trying to adjust Jenson’s bedtimes is going to be painful, gradually moving it to 7pm over the next week. It’s a fine art! 

However, looking at the time on my phone, I feel liberated based on the fact both my children have had a lay in today. Not by yesterday’s time, but by today’s time! This is life changing and for the day, I’ll be like a spring chicken! We are off to do our egg hunt as soon as they wake!  

 

Happy Easter! 

Shift work

Scott has worked shifts the majority of our relationship together, even when Jenson was tiny it wasn’t long before he was back on night shifts and I did it alone. For the last 10 months, Scott has worked Monday to Friday, 8.30-5.30, this has suited us temporarily whilst I worked full time. It gave us every weekend together which is essential for family time. It did have the consequence of Jenson missing out on his time with Daddy though, Scott’s shifts are 8am-8pm for two days, then 8pm-8am for two nights with an amazing 4 days off.

 
As of next month, April 1st, Scott will be going back on shift. I have such mixed feelings. I am so excited for 4 days off, I am excited for Jenson having his Daddy in the week to take him to nursery and for Emeline to have her Daddy when I go back to work. However, it also means very long days, two 8am-8pm days with Jenson missing Scott, then two nights which means I’ll be alone in the house which I hate and then trying to keep the children quiet during the day. It also makes nap time difficult as I have been putting Emeline down in her crib during the day so she doesn’t get woken by Jenson. Scott will also be invading my ‘Mummy’ time, when I am out socialising! He can come along to Emeline’s baby groups though which I know he really enjoys, especially baby sensory.  

 

Our social life also suffers! No more weekend dates with friends unless it falls on a weekend off, extra holiday needed for events like weddings, birthdays, christenings etc.  

 

I am sure, a few weeks in, by the time I’ve had a tough day I’ll hate the idea of shifts but for now, I am mega excited for those four days. That’s massive and makes such a difference to our week! 

Independent children

Having an independent child has both its pros and cons. Naturally, the benefits of a child feeding themselves and dressing themselves is fabulous but it also means getting them to hold your hand whilst walking can be a battle. Generally, we are past the battle of wills with independence that happens around 2/3 years old. 

 Something shocked me today, Jenson, for about 6 months has been able to toilet himself and wipe and clean up afterwards. Something I am very proud of him for, especially with the academic year approaching and it is an expectation that children can do this and manage this by the time they start primary school. Earlier, however, the words “I don’t need you Mummy” rang through my ears like a knife through my heart. He goes up to the toilet and does all by himself but he is right, he doesn’t need me. Not like he use to, he is so independent, he even tries to do his breakfast with cereal and milk, he dresses and undresses, brushes his teeth himself and so many other things. He plays independently too now and his imagination is amazing. 

Of course the only time Jenson needs me most is when he is preparing for preschool, he is a nightmare at dressing himself and he is so slow. The fact that preschool have had dress up this week has made my life so much easier! He loves dressing as a policeman! 

 

This independence comes hand in hand with laziness. It drives me mad! He reverts to being unable to feed himself, tonight he went to bed without his dinner, without dinner he doesn’t get pudding and he refused to feed himself, I refused to feed him. He is 4 years old and basically he was being lazy and wanting to watch the TV so he was sulking. The TV was off therefore he had no distractions and he didn’t want to do it himself, this is the first time he has gone to bed without dinner but he needed some tough love and I wasn’t going to feed him whilst breastfeeding Emeline and trying to eat my own food but also, I couldn’t really manage it with Emeline on my lap. 

  
Let’s hope this independent lesson has been learnt!

Breakfast Muffins

Scott makes the most amazing breakfast muffins, we all love them! 

They take about 30 minutes with preparation and cooking time. They have four simple ingredients which are perfect for a Sunday morning: 

• Eggs
• Bacon 
• Bread
• Cheese 

Here are the simple instructions, even Jenson helped make them today. 

1. You have to part cook the bacon in the grill first, then make sure the muffin tin is greased with butter.
2. Mix the eggs and add the cheese like you would an omelette.
3. Place a circle of bread at the bottom – use a cookie cutter. 
4. Circle the bacon around the bread and the sides of the tin.
5. Pour in the egg mixture.
6. Sprinkle the cheese on top 

You need one rash of bacon per muffin and one egg mixture does roughly two muffins. We cook them for about 10/15 minutes and they are delicious! Jenson loves them too!

 

Hardworking helpers

Family is hardwork, getting the balance right isn’t always easy and actually sometimes we need our time to be our own family, that’s so important. That isn’t always understood and has had such an impact on our relationship with our close family. We live locally and see our parents and siblings often yet the space boundary is often crossed and that makes the relationship tested.

 Scott and I are lucky that our family and friends are so helpful. Whenever we have moved house, they’ve been there to pack boxes and unpack furniture, decorate and help in the garden. Our current garden is a mammoth effort, it was so overgrown when we moved in and Scott has taken it on as his little hobby. 

We had trees cut down and Scott has cleaned the left side of mostly weeds as well as levelling out the ground, the right side has a selection of trees and bushes but it is so overgrown. Randomly, the path finishes half way down the garden too. It needs so much work.  

  

 Today, we had Scott parents over. I made homemade potato and leek soup for the workers, stocked up on biscuits for Lidl and filled them with tea and coffee. It has been a cold day out there and Emeline has been slightly unsettled since her jabs so she spent the day with me in the warmth. 

I am so grateful for their help today, so much was done to make the garden beautiful and safe for the children but I have had to bite my tongue a lot today. My patience has been tested and I’ve heard more opinions than a new Mum! I have been question about my ‘plans’ for the week and comments have been made about my messy lounge! However, Jenson has has a wonderful day, he ran around sticking pegs on everyone’s clothes, he dug up and played. He has loved it! I wrapped Emeline up in her sling and our lovely Bundlebean  and inspected their work outside, I couldn’t do alot with a baby attached to me!

   
I can’t wait to get out there in the summer!